Hi, my name is Kedah!

I fly to New York Newark Airport every month. And I do not know what are the reasons that I am chosen, I will have to go through the secondary screening immigration procedure every time I step foot on the United States' soil without fail.

This secondary screening immigration procedure is called the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System, or NSEERS in short.

The following paragraph is taken off from the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement website (http://www.ice.gov/):
“Those who fall under the second category – nonimmigrants – must also adhere to the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System (NSEERS) also known as Special Registration, put in place after September 11, 2002, to keep track of those entering and leaving our country in order to safeguard U.S. citizens and America’s borders. NSEERS was the first step taken by the Department of Justice and then by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) in order to comply with the development of the Congressionally- mandated requirement for a comprehensive entry-exit program.”

Most of my colleagues, and I believe most of you reading this right now, do not have to go through this lengthy procedure. What you normally have to go through is like what is being practiced in many other countries: get your passport and customs form checked and chopped, finger print and picture taken and you are cleared to proceed to take your check-in luggage and clear customs.

What happened to me is that I will be identified as ‘the one’ who has to go through NSEERS when I submit my passport at the immigration counter and an immigration officer will take my passport and lead me to a smaller room located behind this row of immigration counters for further processing.

If you are a firstimer, you will probably feel nervous and impatient about the whole thing, especially after a long and tiring flight. And if you are not the first one there, or you arrive during peak hours, the room is filled with many other passengers, (or aliens, as what being referred to in the immigration form), like you. The look in their eyes focusing on you as you are walking into the room to join them will make you feel uneasy.

So on this particular day, like many other times I arrived in Newark Airport immigration, I was lead into the room for NSEERS. In my full company uniform and dragging my hand carry bag, I took a seat and made myself 'comfortable' as instructed by the officer. With my tiring eyes, I looked across the room to see who is in the same predicament as me at this time. It’s a United Nation. Their outer appearances told me that they are from Europe (most likely Eastern Europe), Russia, Korea, Indonesia, India, South America (Spanish-speaking countries) and Middle Eastern countries. Whether you are on a wheelchair or still sleeping in your cot, you are not spared. It’s a security issue here.

An Indian male passenger’s eye met mine and I smiled, he smiled back. If we could communicate via telepathy, it would probably be like this:

‘Hey, pilots also have to through this huh?’

‘Yes.’

‘What have we done to deserve all this? How long is it going to take? Am I in trouble? Will I get repatriated? How about my luggage? How about my connecting flight?’

‘Oh relax! It’s not that bad. I go through this umpteen times already. What they will do to you is, they will take off your pants, stuff their middle finger into your ass to check whether you are still virgin.’

His faced turn even more paled.

‘Ok, ok. I am just kidding. What they will do is to get some more personal data from you. They need to know where exactly you come from, your education background, your family details and your intention of coming to this ‘Land of Opportunities’. All that data will be keyed into the computer and they will pulled up the same set of data again every time you enter this country to make sure that it is you in person and not someone else. In other words, you are under closer scrutiny when you are in this country.’

‘Then why can’t they do this outside at their normal immigration counters?’

‘Because not all immigration officers are trained or authorized to conduct this procedure. And also, this is a lengthy procedure that takes time. They don’t want you to hold everyone up. And the waiting is also a way to test your patience and check your personality profile. That’s my conspiracy theory.’

‘It must be tiring for flight crew like you. You have been working for the last how many hours?’

‘Yes. My patience is running thin. Especially when you see how slow they are in their work and still find time to chat among each other. But they are kind enough to give flight crew priority. So I may get processed first before you. Please be patient.’

I winked.

An immigration officer lifted up my passport and looked at me. He shouted, ‘Kedah! Kedah!’

‘Ok, my friend, it’s my turn. Obviously he is calling me, but he is calling my home state. Should I call him California?’

I walked to this officer with a grin, wondering how he is going to react after realizing his mistake.

He looked at my passport again. Then he realized he was reading off the wrong line. And he said, ‘Oh, it’s Tan. Isn’t it? I am lucky the second time, yeah?’

I smiled back, thinking to myself. ‘Yes, you are lucky that I am in a good mood today. Don’t you owe me an apology, you idiot?’

Like many Asians who try to be nice and then lodge a complain behind your back, I said thank you when I finally got my passport back.

'Good luck! My friend from India. My crew is waiting for me outside to get to the hotel. Don’t be mad at these officials here. They are just doing their job. Cheerio!'

If you are traveling to the US, and need more information on their immigration procedure, type NSEERS under SPECKY POWER SEARCH on this blog. Good luck!