Unintended Influences

I was driving to my colleague’s wedding dinner the other day. There were five of us in the car. Among them were the son of another colleague and his mum. We were chatting along casually and this familiar question popped out again from the five-year-old boy: “Can a pilot wear spectacles, uncle?” I replied with my standard answer, “yes, Brian. There is a certain limitation on the degree of shortsightedness before you are allowed to join the airline. Uncle’s degree of shortsightedness is below those limits. However, I am required to wear spectacles whenever I fly, and drive for that matter.”

“Cool!” Came the answer.

“That doesn’t mean you can watch TV and play computer for hours without resting your eyes, Brian.” The mum said firmly. “I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea,” directed to the rest of us in the car.

Oops! I have not set a good example by wearing spectacles, have I?

Another similar occurrence took place many months back when I met up with my elder brother and his family back in my home country. My eight-year-old nephew was arguing with his mum over why he cannot wear spectacles.

“But uncle is wearing spectacles and still be able to become a pilot. Why can’t I, mum?”

I have to come up with the necessary explanation, of course. I definitely do not want those kids to take their eyes’ health lightly. But what I was most startled with was the fact that I had given them some unintended influences. I was certainly not aware of the kind and extend of influence I had on those young children who know me.

Especially now that I have a child of my own, I have to be sensitive on what could influence my child’s well-being. The words and music he hears, the behaviours of the people around him, the images that he sees are all able to create an impact on him be it positive or negative.

For children seeking role models, the things that the adults do can be easily become their benchmarks. No wonder most of the children who wear spectacles have parents who are wearing spectacles too. To them, wearing spectacles is okay. I know I will have a tough time convincing Caden wearing spectacles is NOT cool when the time comes.

Daddy is just a negative example, okay? Could you please do not emulate?